A blog....chiefly on Obedience :-)

I hate being sick. Its truly of the devil. It makes me completely useless. :-( I started feeling " under the weather" at work today……however that did not stop me from devouring a cheeseburger at Burger Up with my friend Emily today. If you live in NashVegas do yourself a favor and eat here......


its like heaven came to earth and opened a burger joint. Unfortunately, I still find myself on the couch about as mobile as a slug and I'm the biggest baby when I'm sick. Real example:

Dad: " Tegger are you okay?"
Me in my most pathetic voice: " I think I have the black lung, pop. ::cough:: ::cough:: ( he didn't get it ) but I may make it to another day if I had a glass of water."

This actually has nothing to do with my blog…..I just wanted to inform everyone on earth that I feel ill and will be accepting prayers and chocolate chip cookies.





The only sting in a rebuke is the truth and as of late I have been swimming in a pool of truth with the Holy Spirit sting ray. Which honestly is amazing…conviction is such a loving gift. So I've been "cleaning house"….getting all the dust out from under my rugs……anyway first off let me say that at one time I said that God's love language was quality time….that isn't true. God's main love language has always been obedience. He said it again and again " If you love me you'll obey my commandments." Jesus gave an illustration in Matthew 21 of a father and two sons…the father goes to the first son and asks him to go work in the vineyard but the son refuses. The son later regrets his disobedience and goes to work in the vineyard. The father goes to the second son and asks the same question…although the second son gives a respectful "Yes I will" he decides not to go. In the end, the first son was obedient. True respect is not seen in word alone but in obedience. I think that maybe maturity is how fast it takes a person to summit to the leading of the Holy Spirit. We have to have a yielded heart to be spirit led….and the nature of a spirit led individual will have a longing desire to hear God and do his will. We must pray that God will give us grace to obey him. It must become habit to hear him give a command and immediately obey. Even if you don't understand because you most likely won't.....but his commands are life and truth!

"It's a mistake for me to examine my faith...I seldom find it. It's better for me to obey quickly." - Bill Johnson

Truth in the purest form isn't a doctrine…..its a person! Truth is something upon which one can stake his life……the truth about Jesus Christ…his virgin birth, the gospel, his atonement, the finished work, being born again...that he is a healer, deliverer, restorer, defender, rescuer, savior………I have staked my life on that! The baptism of the Holy Spirit is the will of God because its the presence of God on earth….it takes God to know God…..and it takes God to serve God " as many that are led by the spirit of God these are the son's of God". Being led by the spirit is commitment there is no plan B.

Jesus also gave another illustration of a father and a set of sons. I love this story because I really think Jesus was trying to say
"this is what my Dad is like".

1And He said, "A man had two sons.
12"The younger of them said to his father, 'Father, give me (E)the share of the estate that falls to me ' So he divided his (F)wealth between them."

Jesus is talking to a Jewish audience and in the culture of that time such a request for an inheritance was equivalent to saying "Dad, I wish you were dead! Give me my money!".

3"And not many days later, the younger son gathered everything together and went on a journey into a distant country, and there he squandered his estate with loose living.14"Now when he had spent everything, a severe famine occurred in that country, and he began to be impoverished. 15"So he went and hired himself out to one of the citizens of that country, and he sent him into his fields to feed swine. 16"And he would have gladly filled his stomach with the pods that the swine were eating, and no one was giving anything to him."

This son had alienated himself from his family and community. He severed every relationship and all his roots...plus he took a job tending to pigs......young Jewish boy+ unclean animals+ longing to eat with the unclean animals= less then ideal. :-)

17 "But when he came to his senses, he said, 'How many of my father's hired men have more than enough bread, but I am dying here with hunger! 18 'I will get up and go to my father, and will say to him, "Father, I have sinned against heaven, and in your sight; 19 I am no longer worthy to be called your son; make me as one of your hired men."

In biblical times, there were bond servants who managed the family's household. They lived on the estate and were almost like family. Then there were lesser servants under the direction of a bondsman. They were paid wages and provided temporary food and shelter but they held no permanent position on the estate.

20"So he got up and came to his father. But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and felt compassion for him, and ran and (G)embraced him and kissed him. 21 "And the son said to him, 'Father, I have sinned against heaven and in your sight; I am no longer worthy to be called your son.' 22 "But the father said to his slaves, 'Quickly bring out the best robe and put it on him, and (I)put a ring on his hand and sandals on his feet; 23 and bring the fattened calf, kill it, and let us eat and celebrate; 24for this son of mine was (J)dead and has come to life again; he was lost and has been found.' And they began to celebrate."

Jesus describes a series of amazing events....
1. The Father sees the son from far off....as if he were looking for him...waiting for his return.
2. He runs to him! It was demeaning for a man in his position to run. When we take a step towards God....he runs to us!
3.The son begins his "speech" but the father doesn't even let him finish.... God doesn't want our excuses and speeches....He wants us....our hearts.
4.He calls for the best garment in the house.....who do you think that belonged to....I'm betting it was the father's robe.....and I'm also betting that after working with swine and walking back to his country.....the younger son probably was filthy and smelly but the father covered his filth.
5. He calls for a ring to be placed on his finger. The ring probably had the family seal on it which would basically be like a family credit card....if you were wearing your family seal you could walk into a market buy what you wanted and bill it to your estate. Here we have a young man who has messed up spectacularly with finances....and the father doesn't say " well after you go through a financial course...we'll see" No he just gives him everything he wasted and more .
6. He calls for sandals to be placed on his feet.......slaves went barefoot but sons wore sandals.

25"Now his older son was in the field, and when he came and approached the house, he heard music and dancing. 26 "And he summoned one of the servants and began inquiring what these things could be. 27 "And he said to him, 'Your brother has come, and your father has killed the fattened calf because he has received him back safe and sound.'
28"But he became angry and was not willing to go in; and his father came out and began pleading with him.
29"But he answered and said to his father, 'Look! For so many years I have been serving you and I have never neglected a command of yours; and yet you have never given me a young goat, so that I might celebrate with my friends;
30 but when this son of yours came, who has devoured your (K)wealth with prostitutes, you killed the fattened calf for him.'
31 "And he said to him, 'Son, you have always been with me, and all that is mine is yours.
32 'But we had to celebrate and rejoice, for this brother of yours was (L)dead and has begun to live, and was lost and has been found.'"

The older son gets offended because he feels like he has been the faithful son....he has followed all the rules and then his rebellious brother returns and gets the blessing. This I will say from experience...anytime you feel like you deserve more than what you get...a seed of bitterness is planted....be careful to dig it out quickly because when it grows its more difficult to uproot the whole plant. I love that the father came out to meet his eldest son in his anger. When I'm upset God always comes and meets me right where I am and talks me down....down to repentance and humility. Sometimes deliverance is on the other side of humbling yourself. What is also amazing about this story is the older son lived his whole life in the same house as his father but did not understand his nature. He had access to all his father possessed but did not access his right as a son. We have to know who we are in Christ! We are "sons" of God. The Father's heart toward us is love....he blesses us because he loves us....he blesses us because we are his children. Our inheritance was granted and sealed by Jesus Christ who was once the only begotten Son of God but is now the first born of many brethren. We have access to our inheritance and to heaven. As children, we show our love to the Father by obeying him because yes...there is a mercy and grace that covers us in our weakness but there is a turning point where you step into righteousness. What worked for you before will not work going forward. God isn't looking for people who have their act together he is looking for people who know their act is over. We must get back to Holiness...a word the majority of the church has forgot. We are called to be set apart...be different from the world......we need to be more like Jesus everyday.

at His feet

Well.....I woke up on the floor this morning ( no, I didn't fall off ) and I could tell you in a reader's digest version of how I got there but then there wouldn't be much of a blog soooo.....

I could go into a loooooong story about growing up and what I believed and blah blah blah but I'm more of a pen and paper type of girl and then I type…….but I have no pen. I did have one…actually I had 3 but they have seemed to vanish so now I have none. Therefore I'm typing this...my thoughts in live action ( eek )…..grumble grumble…..so I'm gonna use a metaphor instead.

2 I slept but my heart was awake. 
   Listen! My beloved is knocking: 
“Open to me, my sister, my darling, 
   my dove, my flawless one. 
My head is drenched with dew, 
   my hair with the dampness of the night.” 
3 I have taken off my robe— 
   must I put it on again? 
I have washed my feet— 
   must I soil them again? 
4 My beloved thrust his hand through the latch-opening; 
   my heart began to pound for him. 
5 I arose to open for my beloved, 
   and my hands dripped with myrrh, 
my fingers with flowing myrrh, 
   on the handles of the bolt. 
6 I opened for my beloved, 
   but my beloved had left; he was gone. 
   My heart sank at his departure.[a] 
I looked for him but did not find him. 
   I called him but he did not answer. 
7 The watchmen found me 
   as they made their rounds in the city. 
They beat me, they bruised me; 
   they took away my cloak, 
   those watchmen of the walls! 
8 Daughters of Jerusalem, I charge you— 
   if you find my beloved, 
what will you tell him? 
   Tell him I am faint with love. -Song of Songs 5:2-8

My biggest fear is to be content with my level of intimacy with God. I always want to be moving closer into him...never stopping...never ceasing to cleave to the lover of my soul. The majority of my life was spent being very religious and legalistic but real intimacy I knew nothing of.......but then I heard my "Lover" knocking

3" I have taken off my robe— 
   must I put it on again? 
I have washed my feet— 
   must I soil them again?" Song of Songs 5:3

This chick is basically saying to this guy that she has already got comfortable in her bed and it would be an inconvenience for her to get up again. Thats often our trouble.....Jesus is inconvenient and we like to be comfortable. I was so comfortable being the "good little church girl" so comfortable being balanced....admired.............so comfortable in my religion and with my stone heart ( in the bed that I made ) so why change? Well because I caught a glimpse of him. Who he really was and I fell in love...instantly. I had never felt so much passion and so much brokeness before.....I had never felt so loved yet I've never cried so hard.

4 "My beloved thrust his hand through the latch-opening; 
   my heart began to pound for him. 
5 I arose to open for my beloved, 
   and my hands dripped with myrrh, 
my fingers with flowing myrrh, 
   on the handles of the bolt. 
6 I opened for my beloved."

Someone said that intimacy with Christ is like the game of tag. I don't remember who said it but I liked it. Its forever seeking him out and him coming to meet with you. Its an obsession for the "extremists". The forever seeking of our Beloved...not that he is lost...its just there is always more of him. I love Jesus Culture's song Obsession...

"What can I do with my obsession
With the things I can not see
It's a madness in my being
It's the wind that blows the tree
Sometimes your further than the moon
Sometimes your closer than my skin
You surround me like a winter fall
You come and burn me with a kiss

And my heart burns for you
And my heart burns for you."

A true lover of God knows that feeling.....it's as if your heart is truly ablaze. Nothing else matters but God......

"God above me and within me and below me and before me and behind me and God ALL about me!"- CS. Lewis

' 
7 The watchmen found me 
   as they made their rounds in the city. 
They beat me, they bruised me; 
   they took away my cloak, 
   those watchmen of the walls! 
8 Daughters of Jerusalem, I charge you— 
   if you find my beloved, 
what will you tell him? 
   Tell him I am faint with love.'

You will be persecuted and the truth is sometimes it's believers who will be persecuting you. Every move of God has been rejected by a large part of Christians and the church body. I asked God about this once and this is what he told me...." I will always be offensive to people...even believers because I will never fit into anyones theological box." Now please don't misunderstand me...I'm a huge fan of church and of spiritual authority as long as we never lose sight of the ONLY authority....he trumps them all but yes in the multitude of counselors there is safety. We weren't meant to do this alone. I promise you though that when you develop preconceived ideas about God ( that aren't in the Bible)....that is when he will burst your bubble...his ways are higher. Thats why we have to always be seeking. Yes, you will receive opposition to what God wants to do for you but no man can block your destiny. AND its not a competition...there are no crowbars required in the kingdom of Heaven. Our "Sonship" releases our inheritance. So I suppose it comes down to the question of " Do you trust God to take you where he said he would?" He has brought you through the water and you haven't drowned yet. :-) God doesn't change his mind....if he said he would do it...he will! Trust and in the meantime blossom where you are planted. Depend on the Father! Dependence on the Holy Spirit's guidance is a mark of true humility. Remember if God is for us...who can be against us?

" You probably have days where you feel defeated, conflicted, weak, outmatched...etc....but God's word calls you a conqueror actually it calls you more than a conqueror and part of what I think that means is that while a conqueror acquires by force or obtains by effort....you being more than a conqueror acquire and obtain by grace. We are fighting on a different level. We don't fight to victory....we fight from victory because Christ won the victory!"- Steven Furtick



Ok I'm on a bunny trail....back to well...where ever I was hoping to go with this....

Ok so about a year or so ago I had a dream ( God seems to enjoy speaking to me in dreams ) It was my wedding day and I was getting ready in this room in a church....I knew I was getting married but I didn't know to whom so I was kinda freaking out.....then one by one every boyfriend I ever had came into the room and I turned everyone of them down. Then all of a sudden I was in the church with my dad....waiting to go down the aisle.....I still didn't know who I was marrying. I kept trying to get a glimpse at the front of the church but I couldn't see......then I turned around and all my bridesmaids were standing around me wearing white dresses which I thought was strange because usually only the bride wears white then this was even more strange these were my bridesmaids....Sister Blythe ( who is like 95 years old ), Joyce ( also old), Candy Kidd, Martha Deyo and Angela Hinson. They all held me and said "its ok we have all gone before you". That was the end of the dream.....this dream haunted me for 6 months....I mean I thought well Its true that I don't know who I will marry so that part I thought I had down but the bridesmaids confused me mostly because yes I look up to all of those women in some way but the only ones that I'm really close to is Martha and Angela. Then Finally God told me....the unseen groom represented Jesus.....the bridesmaids were women that I have looked up to who are also brides of Christ and now it is my time to accept my identity in Jesus and take my place in this line up of amazing women/sisters. So I then proceeded to have the most amazing year with God...awesome. Then 2010 came and its been...well hard...not my favorite but God is amazing and this is what I know....where you are right now is training for where God wants to take you...even if you can't imagine how. Also, we should always wait and respond to God...don't react to situations. How your heart reacts speaks volumes about your character. So now I suppose I should get to the floor bit. Well I was lying in bed...trying to go to sleep...then there came that familiar still small voice....." get on the floor" ummmm.....ok ....so I got on the floor........Nothing.......just laid there for a moment. Then I heard my dad downstairs listening to craig david.....
( and singing loudly:
"Rain outside my window pouring down
What now, your gone, my fault, I'm sorry
Feeling like a fool cause I let you down
Now it's, too late, to turn it around
I'm sorry for the tears I made you cry
I guess this time it really is goodbye
You made it clear when you said
I just don't love you no more" )

Although the temptation to sing back was very high ( like father like daughter ;-) ) I got up and closed my door and turned on "Dance with me" by Jesus Culture......my REAL Father was trying to meet with me and I could not be distracted. So I got back on the floor and held my hands out and asked the Holy Spirit to come...... then I heard " read the book of Ruth" ...............so up I got and turned on the light and read Ruth......Ok lets be honest....I've never been fan of Ruth (sorry) I always thought that she went to the threshing floor to seduce a drunk rich guy so that he would sleep with her then feel bad and marry her. So after rereading chapter 3 like 10 times...finally I got it...( i know i know i'm so smart ) she was proposing to him...which is also weird but not in a symbolic sense. She uncovers his feet and then lays down below them which is awesome....she was basically saying "i'm your servant, your my authority...I am yours". Ruth had been blessed in the field of Boaz but she knew the real blessing was at the feet of Boaz. She wanted more than the blessings.....she wanted the BLESSER. As the story goes on we see that she goes from a favored servant to beloved wife.

When I was little I tried to change my name to Mary....I told everyone in preschool that my name was actually Mary...and I didn't know who this "Tegan" was that they spoke of. My preschool was a christian school and they were really into plays...for some reason. So my teacher came and asked me if I would like to be Mary in the play and sit at Jesus's feet. Well......this little boy named LaShawn was playing Jesus.....I didn't like LaShawn.....he always pulled my hair so I declined thus I became Martha instead.

So I read the five love languages a few years back and one day I was driving down the road praying and God said to me "Tegan, what are your love languages?" .....ok so of course God never asks a question to find out the answer....he knows the answer. I think its to get us involved....or something.... anyway I said " quality time and physical touch." and then he said " so why are you loving me like Martha when I called you to love me like Mary?" Wow. I had to pull over for a while haha. Anyway, Mary knew that Blessing was at the feet of Jesus.

So basically....me sleeping on the floor was just symbolic of "being at his feet". Jesus is our kinsman redeemer. At his feet is blessing, favor and covering. He takes us from favored servant to beloved bride of Christ. Which doesn't mean we stop serving.....actually I think we serve him all the more.

The Great exchange...My will for yours...

I had a weird revelation today....weird only because I'm not a parent but I feel like it's worth sharing....

I was watching the lion king this morning.....strange how God always talks to me through Disney movies maybe because my level of comprehension is that of a 7 year old haha ;) Anyway, so when simba is born all the animals come out to see him. Before he is shown to the crowd Rafiki ( who is symbolic of a spiritual leader ) anoints him with coconut oil but then he holds him up before the crowd and the light shines on him and all the animals go wild! You can't tell me that you didn't get chills the first time you saw this movie :-) anyway the 1st part of this blog is for the parents and the 2nd part is for the kids....actually its for everyone because if your a parent...you are also a child.

I don't know if we really comprehend what we do when we dedicate our kids...I think that sometimes we do it out of tradition or to symbolize that we will raise them in a christian household...I don't know like I said I'm not a mom. God did however decide to show me what it means.....it means that the parent is giving their child over to God. I'm sure that all parents have hopes and dreams for their kids...maybe even an idea of the career that they should have or the person they should marry but when you give your kids to God its a symbol that you as a parent are letting all of your dreams for them go. Its saying to God...." it doesn't matter what I want for them...it only matters what you want." Before you even knew your child....God knew them....before you ever held them in your arms...God formed them. It is acknowledging that God is the TRUE Father and his will "trumps" your ideals. You become the caregiver...the adoptive parent but the child belongs to the Father. So when your kid comes home and says God has called me to move to the amazon and start a church in a treehouse haha or say you're are in full time ministry and you want your child to go to ORU but they come home and say God has called me to be a computer graphic artist.... :-) remember that you gave your ideal up and agreed with the will of God for them.

I was born October 11, 1985 and dedicated November 17, 1985 :-) so here I am 25 and my life doesn't match up to what a normal 25 year old girl living in the south should look like. I'm not married and haven't been in a " boyfriend/girlfriend" relationship since I was 21. 90 % of the friends I spend the most time with are about 4-5 years younger then me ( well in age but not in spirit ;). ) I didn't go to college and I don't have plans for a "career" I work just as much as anyone but I do it to live. Not that a career is wrong....please don't misunderstand me......I fully believe that God calls people to all sorts of things.....doctor, lawyers, teachers.....etc and if you are a christian....you are in full time ministry no matter what your career is!! I'm only talking about myself. To the outside world I see that it looks like I have no commitment or goals but when I was a month old I had godly earthly parents who did not give me over to the world but gave me over to the Lord. I was saved when I was very young but at an Acquire the Fire event that my Jr. High Pastor ( Aaron Allison whoop whoop! ) took us to when I was 14 God gave me a vision of a piece of his will for me. I could have passed on it but I agreed with the Father and have had a passion to see it come to pass ever since. Even though my parents gave me to the Father I still had to give myself to him. When we grow up we also form ideas of what we want to do and who we want to be so at some point we as an individual have to dedicate ourselves to God. We have to come in agreement with who HE says we are and what HE says we can do. I promise its better than anything we could ever choose for ourselves anyway. I am deeply committed to Christ and if Jesus only did what he saw the Father do how could I think that I could do anything without seeking him first. I would rather be unsuccessful in the eyes of the world but a success to God. I would rather everyone call me discontent, unrealistic, and unstable but God call me faithful, passionate and willing. I would rather be extreme then normal. I would rather be a wild fire for the cause of Christ than what we call in the church world " balanced"
I went to the Ramp this last weekend...I encourage everyone to go its amazing ( www.theramp.org ) and this was said by Micah Wood..

" In the American church we present 3 options..
1. Lost- completely in world
2. Saved- go to church, said the prayer, read your bible
...your saved.
3. Burning-extreme, even church people mock you

the only problem with these options is that in the bible there is only lost
and burning. There is no middle option! If you are complacently
saved I doubt if you are saved at all. The essence of christianity is that
you have found the treasure in the field and out of joy you sold all you
had to buy the field! Jesus said " I would that you would be hot or cold
but if you are lukewarm I will spew you out of my mouth." You can't be
lost, saved or burning...its only lost or burning."

When you are burning....the things God loves, you love! Your spirit yearns to bring him glory. Commit yourself to the Lord! Commit your plans and he will direct your path. His promises will not return void. The good work he began in you will be seen unto completion. SO no matter who you are and what you want to do I encourage you to seek God.....seek doesn't mean 20 min of prayer a day.....you spend more time on the phone with your best friend....seek and you will find.....he has a plan for you and its better than your own! Give your kids to God and give yourself to God :-)

For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Jeremiah 29:11

Inconvenience leads to Intimacy...What will you choose?

The older I get the more I think that anything of true worth ( although maybe freely given ) requires a degree of inconvenience on my part. I wonder how much of an inconvenience was it for the 120 who waited for the Holy Spirit in the Upper Room. I mean they probably had jobs, families and a number of other things that they could have been doing with their time. Although we don't actually know the timing between the ascension and the Holy Spirit falling...I'm sure it was to the point of exhaustion, hunger and maybe even boredom. These people pushed past their flesh to hold on to the promise Jesus made them. Yet I get fidgety after being in church for 3 hours....I'll stay in worship for a while but then I get hungry and head for the door...and I call myself a lover of God. Which I do love him and the good work that he began in me will be completed...because of his amazing grace and love haha.
In Acts 20, Paul preached so long that a man fell out of a window because he had fallen asleep! I actually do understand this....often I go into my room and lock the door and start praying.....9 times out of 10.....I'm dead asleep within an hour. Hahahaha :-) The point is....yes we are all human and we don't do everything perfect.....but if you will inconvenience yourself past the point of comfort....God will meet you and it will be the BEST time of your Life!

"Better is one day in your courts then a thousand elsewhere!"- psalm 84:10

The result of God meeting you is Intimacy. Let me say this....intimacy is not a 2 minute prayer of complaints ( that is a conniption fit ;) ), it isn't a Wednesday night jumping up and down singing " take take take it all!" and it even isn't reading a chapter in your bible every night....these things are great but.....this intimacy is according to Wikipedia...

Intimacy generally refers to the feeling of being in a close personal association and belonging together.It is a familiar and very close affective connection with another as a result of a bond that is formed throughknowledge and experience of the other. Genuine intimacy in human relationships requires dialogue,transparency,vulnerability and reciprocity. As a verb "intimate" means "to state or make known". The activity of intimating (making known) underpins the meanings of "intimate" when used as a noun and adjective. As a noun, an "intimate"
is a person with whom we have a particularly close relationship. As an adjective, "intimate" indicates detailed knowledge of a thing or person (e.g. "an intimate knowledge of engineering" and "an intimate relationship between two people").[4]


I LOVE THAT! It is a bond that is formed through knowledge and experience of each other! How close can you get to Jesus? How deep does your relationship go with him? Well....as much as you allow it to.....as much as you "inconvenience" yourself. I mean isn't this true in things of the natural as well? Example...dating or courting...whatever your flavor is...requires time on the phone, hanging out and just getting close to that individual...but then when you get married you are granted intimacy. Funny story....I was staying with a couple who I absolutely adore! They are such role models in my life and I give honor to them for living their lives for Christ. Anyway I was sleeping on a mattress in the living room floor and the wife came to sleep with me so I wouldn't be alone...and I said " you aren't going to
sleep with ____?" she said " not tonight I didn't want you to be alone." and I
said " you're crazy....I'd love to have a husband to sleep with." which we both started laughing but that is kinda what got me thinking about this....as a married couple they have access to things that I don't...yet. Here is where it ties in....if you are a lover of God....you are the bride of Christ! You are granted access to him...jump in get as much as you dare! Christ longs for you more than you could ever
long for him...run into him! Somethings that are true in the natural are also true in the supernatural...the bible warns married couples not to "hold out" on one another besides prayer and fasting. SO if that is true in the natural how on earth do we think we can make it without intimacy with God? Lack of Intimacy will weaken the relationship. Intimacy requires quality time....when I was reading the 5 love
languages God turned around and used it on me haha. My top two are Quality time and physical touch and one day God said " Tegan, you have been trying to love me with acts of service but what I want from you right now is your time and your touch. You are trying to love me like Martha...but I want you to love me like Mary." WOW!

38 As Jesus and his disciples were on their way, he came to a village where a woman named Martha opened her home to him. 39She had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord's feet listening to what he said. 40 But Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made. She came to him and asked, "Lord, don't you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me!"
41"Martha, Martha," the Lord answered, "you are worried and upset about many things, 42but only one thing is needed.[f] Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her."


Jesus said Mary has chosen what is better! I definitely want to be a Mary! She was after the same thing that the 120 in the upper room were after...the pearl of great price! We have access to that! Look at the people in the old testament.....they talked to God and had experiences with God....and yet most of us never will have those type of experiences...yet they were under a weaker covenant. So something is
wrong and it sure isn't God...it is his good pleasure to give us all this and more! We have access! So its our choice....what will you choose?

The Battle of the Body

First off let me make it clear that I'm not a "universalist" and I'm only referring to Lovers of Christ as the Body :-)

So I was praying about how the body of Christ is so separated and how often we are offended by other's revelations.....why is that? SOOOO I heard God say this...

"I (God) will always be offensive.....even to devout believers because I will never fit in their theological box."

Rick Joyner wrote a book called the final quest. In this book He describes a vision where he saw a war going on. The soldiers in the war had demons riding on their backs....notice that these demons where not in possession of the person rather they were oppressing them.....not actually on the inside of the person but close enough to influence direction and blur the truth. Later in the vision he realizes that these soldiers are Christians. The Body of Christ fighting against each other!

How true is this! I've seen it......I've done it........a zillion times!
Satan has been doing this since the beginning of the body of christ.
Can you imagine how effective we would be if we were unified?!

Instead we separate into different churches.....different denominations yet serve the same God. God gives us all pieces of knowledge and different gifts.....its like one of those huge puzzles with a million tiny pieces......we get one or two tiny pieces and look at it like its the entire puzzle. In reality it all fits together because its a REALLY BIG puzzle and not one of us has all the pieces nor the ability to put it together alone. So here we are with our puzzle piece ( revelation and gift ) and it doesn't look like our brother's........its not the same color.....its not the same shape and it doesn't seem to fit together so we turn up our noses at our brothers/sisters because they don't hold the same piece and clearly mine is the correct one.....right? haha.
I remember when I was little puzzles were so confusing to me.....how the pieces looked so different surely they didn't go together but in the end they formed the final masterpiece.......it took every piece to complete that puzzle.

So here we are in the battle.....all holding our puzzle pieces thinking our way is the best way. Think of what members of different churches say about one another.....
" They don't let the Holy Spirit move enough"
" They have no order"
" They are so emotional....its a high"
"They have no fire"
"Their worship is out of control"
"Their worship is too restricted"
"They focus too much on Love and Grace"
"They focus too much on holiness and judgement"

Some say " Go and sell all your possessions" and others say "God wants us to live as Kings and Queens on this earth"

How many times have I said these things.....now I see that I'm a fool for thinking my way is better than my brothers's. We are all the body and we all know small bits....

12 Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.-1 Corinthians 13:12

One day we will fully know....just how balanced and perfect he really is and how all these tiny pieces are all from the very same.....REALLY BIG God. Who has adopted all of us.....Evangelical, Charismatic, Pentecostal, Baptist...etc.......whether you are John Bevere, Paul Washer, Bill Johnson, TD Jakes, CS Lewis, Tommy Barnett, Donnie McClurkin, Heidi Baker, Joyce Meyer, Rob Bell, John Piper, Smith Wigglesworth or Kenneth Hagin.........you are all sons and daughters of Abba Father

1 Corinthians 12

Spiritual Gifts

1Now about spiritual gifts, brothers, I do not want you to be ignorant. 2You know that when you were pagans, somehow or other you were influenced and led astray to mute idols. 3Therefore I tell you that no one who is speaking by the Spirit of God says, "Jesus be cursed," and no one can say, "Jesus is Lord," except by the Holy Spirit.
4There are different kinds of gifts, but the same Spirit. 5There are different kinds of service, but the same Lord. 6There are different kinds of working, but the same God works all of them in all men.

7Now to each one the manifestation of the Spirit is given for the common good. 8To one there is given through the Spirit the message of wisdom, to another the message of knowledge by means of the same Spirit, 9to another faith by the same Spirit, to another gifts of healing by that one Spirit, 10to another miraculous powers, to another prophecy, to another distinguishing between spirits, to another speaking in different kinds of tongues,[a] and to still another the interpretation of tongues.[b] 11All these are the work of one and the same Spirit, and he gives them to each one, just as he determines.

12The body is a unit, though it is made up of many parts; and though all its parts are many, they form one body. So it is with Christ. 13For we were all baptized by[c] one Spirit into one body—whether Jews or Greeks, slave or free—and we were all given the one Spirit to drink.

14Now the body is not made up of one part but of many. 15If the foot should say, "Because I am not a hand, I do not belong to the body," it would not for that reason cease to be part of the body. 16And if the ear should say, "Because I am not an eye, I do not belong to the body," it would not for that reason cease to be part of the body. 17If the whole body were an eye, where would the sense of hearing be? If the whole body were an ear, where would the sense of smell be? 18But in fact God has arranged the parts in the body, every one of them, just as he wanted them to be. 19If they were all one part, where would the body be? 20As it is, there are many parts, but one body.

21The eye cannot say to the hand, "I don't need you!" And the head cannot say to the feet, "I don't need you!" 22On the contrary, those parts of the body that seem to be weaker are indispensable, 23and the parts that we think are less honorable we treat with special honor. And the parts that are unpresentable are treated with special modesty, 24while our presentable parts need no special treatment. But God has combined the members of the body and has given greater honor to the parts that lacked it, 25so that there should be no division in the body, but that its parts should have equal concern for each other. 26If one part suffers, every part suffers with it; if one part is honored, every part rejoices with it.

27Now you are the body of Christ, and each one of you is a part of it. 28And in the church God has appointed first of all apostles, second prophets, third teachers, then workers of miracles, also those having gifts of healing, those able to help others, those with gifts of administration, and those speaking in different kinds of tongues. 29Are all apostles? Are all prophets? Are all teachers? Do all work miracles? 30Do all have gifts of healing? Do all speak in tongues[d]? Do all interpret? 31But eagerly desire[e] the greater gifts.
And now I will show you the most excellent way.

1 Corinthians 13

Love

1If I speak in the tongues[f] of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. 2If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. 3If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames,[g] but have not love, I gain nothing.
4Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

8Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. 9For we know in part and we prophesy in part, 10but when perfection comes, the imperfect disappears. 11When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me. 12Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.

13And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.

A DAY IN THE LIFE OF MY HEAD......RANDOM MINI BLOGS

THE GIMMIES
i used to love the Bernstein bears....I collected the books in fact....they were a super cool bear family that lived in a tree :-) one of my personal favorites was a book called the gimmies. In the book the gimmies was a bad thing.....brother and sister bear were being greedy and wanted everything in sight. I feel like I have the gimmies in a good way or so I told God today. Its not for materialistic things.....its for more of him. Gimmie more conviction, gimmie more love, gimmie more revelation, gimmie more of your heart, gimmie more passion, gimmie more joy, gimmie more peace, gimmie more focus, gimmie more power, gimmie more truth...........gimmie gimmie gimmie....and he does. Its really cool. i don't know why I acted so shocked when God answers prayers. Matt 7:7 tells me you will answer and yet I'm always surprised. So amazing how God wants me more than I want him. He is waiting to reveal more to me all the time! Let me fall more in love with you!


THE PRINCE AND THE PROSTITUTE
This is something God showed me after lots of prayer........there was this women balled up on the ground in shame....she was wretched ....everything about this women was awful. She was a prostitute, she was ugly, she was loathed by all, she was completely evil and foul from the inside out....she deserved death.....I watching...wanted her to die. Then a prince came...I knew he was a prince because he was wearing a crown and he was the most radiant person I had ever seen....surely he would kill her....but he didn't....he picked her up, dried her tears, held her tight and then he gave her a crown. I realized finally that girl was me.....and that's Jesus. " I have made you Worthy even though you were unworthy . I have made you righteous even though you were unrighteous, I have made you pure even though you were filthy. I have made you beautiful even though you were ugly, I have given you life even though all you deserved was death. I have made you able to stand and stand you will." Even though I may not be a prostitute......I have at times been adulterous to my saviour.....I have allowed myself to be swayed by "lower lovers" .....Matt 16:4, Mark 8:38 and James 4:4.....and just stupid things that I put above so much. Yet Christ lifted me, he saved me, he freed me.........so live like it! He has called me the opposite of what I am and thus made it true! My God, My King, My Saviour, My Hero, My Restorer, My Healer! Oh to only know you more!

PRAYER/RANT
Why do we who belong to Christ insist on looking like the world who does not belong to Christ. Do we not know who we are? We have been grafted in and have become the children of God.....so lets live like it! Let me live like it. If I really love you like I say then I will want to serve you. I do not want to grieve the heart of the one I love. Teach me to be a submissive daughter. Let my heart burn with passion for you....in all I do! Give me a heart for the broken.....teach me to love the ones that no one loves....to want the ones that no one wants. Teach me to be a servant to others.....to be all things to all people. Teach me to be bold. Teach me to be a more loving friend. Teach me how to be a respectful, submissive and loving wife. Let me be sensitive to your spirit, give me the strength to hold others hands up. Let me lose myself!!!!!! I want to abide in you! Pull out all of my selfish ways let all that remains be the things of you. Teach me to believe you......how life would be different if only I believed exactly what the bible says....nothing else....get all the religion out no matter "how good of a church" it came from....its man made! Let me see others the way you see them. Let my identity be in you and you alone! I don't want to translate the bible into something that suits the way I want to live.....I want to believe you the way you want me to with no opinions of my own......make me more like you and less like me!

what is on my heart.....

Brandon Heath - Give Me Your Eyes from Brandon Heath on Vimeo.">



I really wanted a banana for breakfast....I started out in hendersonville...drove through Starbucks for my morning grandee overly sweetened earl grey...."do you have a banana?" I waited...."No mam...we have a wonderful blueberry muffin!" said the voice over the intercom......"no thanks". Panera will have fruit....right? WRONG. So I thought oh well I will have time to get one in Nashville before work! I pulled in to the new green hills shopping center...got out of my jetta rental ( my bug is in the shop ) and walked to Providence Bread. They didn't have fruit either.....oatmeal.........no.............OK.....orange juice?????? I bought an interesting looking bottle of what could have been orange juice.....i think it was orange drink and club soda.....blah! So I decided to walk to whole foods...but then I stopped.....in front of POSH. I love the clothes there! There was a cute dress in the window....I wanted it....I just got my paycheck.....$200.00 was the price......I went in and felt the fabric...they had a 2 and a 4.....perfect....i will just try them both on and see which one.........( remember those old cartoons....when the angel and devil version of the character was on each shoulder...well imagine two versions of me of each shoulder )

Angel: "Do you need this?"

Devil: " yes"

Angel: "what will it accomplish?"

Devil: " looking cute"

Angel: " $200 would pay for food for a homeless person and meet the needs of people around you"

Devil: " shut up"

Tegan: " dangit"

Salesperson: " would you like me to start a dressing room for you?"

Tegan: " No thanks"

God has been dealing with me lately....about what he expects of me. I'm going to the dream center....awesome....but what am I doing before I get there? Existing? I'm just a good christian girl....living a normal christian life. WRONG and WRONG. I am not good and I am not living a normal christian life. The things that are often out of the ordinary are the things that should be normal for the christian.....like "acts Christianity"......the funny thing is the people in acts were under the new covenant....just as we are so why is my life so different from theirs? Lack of faith? Lack of time? Lack of love? Lack of action? Probably all of these and more...this is what I've realized.....deliverance is normal, healing is normal, serving others is normal! Why wait for one week in a summer under the ground of Youth camp or missions trip to make these things a normal day activity? In Luke 13:10-17 the ruler of the synagogue becomes angry with Jesus for deliverance/healing on the sabbath......ok so here is something I never caught before now....Jesus compares healing and deliverance to feeding/watering livestock! Something that was a normal everyday activity for people at that time....so if we modernize that....it would be like saying healing/deliverance should as normal as filling your car with gas. Healing and deliverance is normal care for a human as is watering is for livestock.

Ok so now serving others...........I have spent 23 years of my life serving myself! Its sickening! What makes me better than that homeless man by the riverfront? Nothing! Does God love me more? NO! What makes me different? Well for one....what makes me different is I know who I am in Christ....I have been adopted into God's family and am now a daughter of the King. Taking my place in the family means I have a responsibility to serve, to love, to heal, to deliver, to unbind the bound..................oh to only see people as God does! What would we see??? People who Jesus died for.....walking around bound in chains, blindfolded walking into death, demons oppressing and possessing the ones God longs to know! Here I am with the key to their problems....the remedy to their illness and yet I choose not to share it. Would I rather spend $2oo on a dress or instead use it to minister and meet the needs of the lost, blind, sick, bound and rejected? My prayer is now truely.....God give me your heart....your eyes....let your love pour out of me! Thank you for your grace when I fall so short so often!

This all started with a song...of course....thats how things always start with me.....there is a brandon heath song out....it got me thinking...which lead to conviction then to lots of prayer and now hopefully to lots of action. :-D